It doesn’t matter how many resources are available, a desperate greedy person will always take more than their fair share. I know because I was greedy and desperate. Poverty can do that to you, it destroys your natural sense of abundance. Every meal feels like it could be your last, so you take more than you need- this is called the Scarcity Mindset- most of the population is operating in this way.
It doesn’t matter how much love, safety and reassurance you give to a jealous, toxic person, it will never make them love themselves or experience real joy. I know because I was a toxic, sad, broken person. I had to learn to love myself in a kind and gentle way before I could have healthy relationships with others.
It doesn't matter if you solve all their problems and give them a fool-proof plan, a disempowered person won’t take action if they don’t believe that they can be successful. I know because I used to be all talk and no action. I acted confident but deep down I didn’t believe I could do anything right, so it was easier to stay in my dream world. I would make plans then self sabotage to protect my fragile ego from being shattered. The Ego doesn't like to try new things, be embarrassed, or make mistakes. If you let it control you, your Ego will prevent you from growing even a single inch outside of your comfort zone. Self preservation is its top priority.
It doesn’t matter what a religion preaches, when folks live in an isolated bubble of sameness, they will always judge others outside of their circle. I know because I was religious and judgmental. When I was very young, all my friends were Arab and Muslim, my parents made sure of that. It was hard for me to relate to or understand other viewpoints. It was easy to judge and condemn "Non-Muslims" and "Westerners" because I hadn't walked a day in their shoes.
I know now, by looking back at my own journey, that radical growth is possible. However, real change almost never occurs under positive circumstances. The most ruthless and unexpected challenges in life are the ones that shock us awake. We love to be in our comfort zone, safe with a predictable routine. Like any animal, we like being familiar our people, environment, and foods. Most people are born, go to school, get married, have a family, and die all in the same city. It takes a lot of discomfort to force someone to change their ways.
That’s why I’m grateful for every trial I’ve gone through since 2016. It's been like a 5 year marathon of spiritual awakenings. Watching from the outside it looks like I was working hard to build myself, when in reality I was working hard to HEAL myself. Had I not struggled, I probably would have settled down in Detroit, got married to a Muslim man, had a few kids, and had my fashion design as a hobby. When I picture that scene, it makes me sad! In that scenario, I didn’t grow at all.
The struggle is what shakes you awake. It clears the fog and lets you see past your own nose. It gives you a choice: repeat old behaviors, or learn new ones and adapt to become better. Once I understood the correlation between real struggle and lighting-fast personal growth, I embraced it like an old friend. I embrace challenge because on the other side is greatness.
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